Italian driving

Rules for driving in Italy:
1) There are NO rules!
2) White lane lines and stop signs are mere suggestions with no clear other significance.
3)When passing a car on the autostrada at high speed, pull up to 2 inches behind the car you are passing and then pull back into his lane immediately after passing. If you are not close enough to COMPLETELY fill the rear view mirror of the car ahead of you then you are NOT CLOSE ENOUGH!
4) Passing on a 2 lane road also has NO RULES! Passing on a curve is totally acceptable. Any oncoming traffic is expected to have the coordination and reflexes to avoid you without even having to slow down. Passing a slower vehicle is a REQUIREMENT even if you are planning to make a turn within the next 50 feet.
5) When entering a thoroughfare from a side street, DO NOT stop nor should you look to see if there is oncoming traffic. If you are such a chicken that you can't do that, then pull the nose of your car into oncoming traffic so as to cause the traffic to swerve. (That oncoming traffic would of course NOT slow down or, god forbid, stop to allow you in.)
6) Parking is an art unto itself. Remember the no rules thing in #1. You may pull into a parking place facing in either direction and may convert a parallel parking zone into head in (or tail in) parking at will. Parking place is an ill defined concept meaning any space large enough to insert any part of one's vehicle. Any or all tires may be on the curb or sidewalk. You may double park for as long as you like as long as you leave your emergency flashers on or your motor running. Bill Bryson said it best, "Italians park like I would park if I had just spilled a container of hydrochloric acid in my lap."
7)Pedestrians have nerves of steel. They walk across multiple lanes of traffic without looking at the oncoming vehicles. There is a very subtle hand gesture that somehow tells vehicles to stop for them and it actually works. At least I have seen no pedestrian deaths thus far. Dogs have the same ability as pedestrians and in addition can sleep lying on the road with total lack of fear. AND I have also seen NO dead dogs in the road!
8) Motorcycles have yet another set of NO RULES! For instance, they can pair up to pass on either side of a car that is itself passing another car. Pure entertainment when this is occurring on the autostrada with everyone going 80+mph.
9) Turns signals are not obligatory especially if one hand is steering and one hand is holding the cell phone. Turns can be made from any lane you wish (and it goes without saying that there need be no turn signal.) U turns and backing up follow these same guidelines.

We plan on trying all these techniques when we come home.